(via michalmore)

i accidentally listened to a voicemail from you today. oops. sorry.

i have allergies boys and girls.

spunky-and-flippin-radical:

feminspire:

[..] The big deal comes in when homeless people are being exploited to prove a point. Many homeless people are already widely disenfranchised and lacking a platform to be heard or to get access to the resources they need. By attempting to make a brand look bad by associating it with…

I have to say, this article addresses a lot of concerns I had with the #Fitch the Homeless project. I think it definitely carries with it the danger of marginalizing the poor to a higher extent and making jokes out of their situation.

Why I still want to participate in Fitch the Homeless is because I want to do whatever I can to keep Fitch the Homeless from turning into a petty war between “do gooders” and Ambercrombie and Fitch and work to get this moment turned towards maybe people actually developing genuine relationships with the people that they’re helping, and maybe after you’ve passed out a few A&F shirts you’ll actually start talking to some of the homeless and learn what they really need right now and how you can help them. I know this movement has a lot of flaws and holes in it, but I want to do what I can to get people to start talking with and befriending the homeless and start seeing them as people.

Because when you really get down to it, this isn’t about you and how many good-deed-points you have, it’s about the homeless and what they’re going through. 

tonight my little brother forced me outside with him to pull weeds before the sun disappeared. i heard the ocean. i watched him bury a black bird. (yes possibly the same bird that sang outside my window each night at 3 am. the one i wanted dead. flew so hard into the window that it broke its neck. am i a murderer? ) he was 3 yrs old again. burying the small animal we saw die. so my 5 yr old hands wouldn’t have to. so i wouldn’t be scared.

pulling weeds. i tried. and then after a while i laid back in the dirt and stared at the sky. lost in my thoughts. he told me the ryan gosling from the beach was walking past. the guys dog was barking at me. i lifted my head, shot the dog a dark look, and laid back down. wishing i knew what i was doing.

i crawled into a hiding space for a lot of hours. i can’t explain why i did it. except that it made sense. if i can’t say something nice i’d rather say nothing at all. maybe i shouldn’t be around people if i can’t act like a decent one?

i wrote letters to each of my 7 siblings. saying i was sorry and i loved them. hoping to somehow explain my actions. but i have no good explanation for being this way. those letters are scattered on a floor of my hiding place. 

i wish i could take my kidney and lungs and heart out and feed it to some kittens. i wish i could go sit on the couch with my little sister and giggle and cry at the lion king. but neither one seems right to me.

i have a strange perception of the world. i think i will go back to my hiding place now. goodnight

All that is gold does not glitter,Not all those who wander are lost;The old that is strong does not wither,Deep roots are not reached by the frost. From the ashes a fire shall be woken,A light from the shadows shall spring;Renewed shall be blade that was broken,The crownless again shall be king

it has recently been brought to my attention that people have something called tumblr friends. i didn’t know what it was or what it meant. i don’t know how to make tumblr friends. but i think i want to. please help.

you know that i like it when it rains. you know i am afraid of the dark. you know my favorite flavor of ice cream and the pie that i make best. you know how i rearrange my pillows before bed. you know i have journals from back when i was 5. you know my favorite song. you know that i buy books sometimes just because of how they look. you know i usually read them too. you know i am not a morning person. but you know i used to be. you know my middle name. you know i get crazy after 2 am or too many glasses of sweet tea. you know how much it means to me when someone asks if i am okay. you know it doesn’t take much to make me blush. you know i love animals and the outdoors. you know i love to sing.

you know all these little things about me.

but sometimes i feel like you don’t know me at all.

When I was little I was afraid of the dark and I had trouble sleeping.
Every single night as far back I can remember Mommy would sing me to sleep. I think I kinda took it for granted. Having a Mother who always took the time to pray with us and talk to us every night. But now that I’m older she doesn’t sing me to sleep anymore, but I’ve learned how to appreciate those little things. Because they aren’t so little really. 

Mommy, you’ve taught me so much about life and from you I learned how to love with everything in me. You taught me how to put others needs before my own. how to have compassion for others. how to be a peacemaker. and so many other things about what it means to be the best person I can be. like how to sing the funny little songs about my day. 
without you, I wouldn’t be me. 
Mommy, Your prayers and love and support has been what always helps me back up when I’m down. You are always there when I need someone to talk to. Always understanding about everything. Always giving such great advice. Thank you for that. Thank you for the thousands of little things you do. Because they aren’t so little really. Thank you for giving me the best legs in the world.

So yes, I’m still afraid of the dark. But I know you will always be there every single time I need you.

I pray that someday I can be a Mother like you. Because if I am, I will be the best. I love you.

i fear getting sick. so im drinking a lot of orange juice and vitamin C. I’m gonna be in Nashville next week. cannot get sick.

yesterday was a day when everything should have been the best. and it was so good. because

Last night we made Mothers Day Dinner. Smoked bbq chicken, (the best chicken you will ever eat) potatoes, creamed corn, whole wheat rolls (made by yours truly), greens, salad, and sweet tea (which I didn’t drink) and southern peach pie. 

Mothers Day Breakfast for my Mom and Grandmama Jean was Cinnamon Rolls, Cheese Danishes, Eggs and Bacon, and wonder Coffee (that I didn’t drink) and Orange Juice. Roses were on the table and we used the lace tablecloth and fancy china.

After that we drove across the state to see Mammama, (Daddy’s Mom)

We got there and I was happy and excited, then I went inside and started hugging everyone and saying hi, and all the sudden, i dont know what happened, but i started to panic, about nothing as usual, I ran outside and changed out of my dress into shorts and a t-shirt and tried doing something normal like breathing, but it didn’t stop, so i saw my brother josh sitting alone outside on the swing and i went and sat with him and started crying and he started crying too, and i was like dude, why are you crying, and he had ate his steak and like hurt his tooth or something and was fake crying to make me laugh, which worked, so im sitting on the swing half laughing half crying and my cousin Carley comes outside to look for me and try to talk to me. And I’m trying to look like I’m fine because my uncle came outside to smoke a cigarette and he was looking at us like we were outcasts because we weren’t inside. 

So josh and carley started talking about their love lives and made up all these ridiculous cards, like the “K card” or lipginity, about kissing, and the “H card” for holding hands, and the “C card” for cuddling, and so on. I started laughing at their ridiculousness, and started breathing like normal. and pretended to cry and be sad because Carley had lost her “c card” and was growing up. 

I went inside and wasn’t able to make eye contact with anyone, but i wasn’t shaking so much, and i got some food and went to sit in the dark dining room alone because the living room and kitchen were too many people looking at me. 

So I ate and ate and ate

steak. salad. baked potato. creamed corn. the most amazing macaroni and cheese in the world, like we are talking 6 different kinds of cheeses, it was better than the steak, rolls, vegetables, and i did drink sweet tea, (but i mixed in lemonade so it wasn’t like that much caffeine. and i was fine) Carley and Michal came and sat with me and uncle mike talked to me about salad dressing. 

The dessert I brought was a black cherry chocolate cheese cake and Daddy came and told me I needed to put the lid back on it and put it in the car and take it home because i didn’t want the family eating that. and I freaked out. i have never tried the recipe and i just made it and brought it. which normally i don’t experiment on the extended family. but I did. and then they assured me he was joking and he said that because of how good it was. so I calmed down.

after I ate i cleaned the whole kitchen and mopped the floor, cleaning helps. and i cleaned a lot. like. i just kept cleaning. and then i went out on the trampoline and pretending to be 12 again. it didn’t work. my back is too messed up for that right now. i watched my little sisters swimming and tegan playing fetch. i walked through the neighborhood with daddy, ben, michal, and caleb to try and find a way to get to the lake. we weren’t allowed to go through peoples yards.

I went to visit my Uncle Johnny, who had a stroke last December and i wasn’t able to see him, and Aunt Missy wasn’t there either, but I saw uncle billy and aunt barbara. they were so happy for visitors, and played with Emily and Kelly and a couple rabbits they have.

I helped clean some more and talked with my cousins for a long time. just about normal stuff like tv shows and boys and clothes and gossiped about other family. it was nice.

then i watched iron man 3 with my brothers some.